Parenting Expert Helps Christian Parents Tame Rebellious Kids
by Mary Rettig and Jenni Parker
December 2, 2004
(AgapePress) - An author, speaker, and Christian family advocate has written a new book to help believing moms and dads understand why their kids sometimes rebel against them and their faith, and what they can do if that happens.
Dr. Tim Kimmel, executive director of Family Matters and best-selling author of Little House on the Freeway and Grace-based Parenting, has written a new book called Why Christian Kids Rebel: Trading Heartache for Hope (W Publishing Group, 2004). In it, he explains to Christian parents that even though they may raise their children in loving homes, nurturing them according to the dictates of their faith and the best of their ability, sometimes their kids will still rebel.
Kimmel says this can happen for a number of reasons. For instance, he says, in some cases, Christian kids sometimes rebel because God has been rendered "too predictable" for them. Their schedules are so full of Christian activities like church, youth group, and Bible study that they rarely get the chance to see the spontaneous and daring side of God's nature.
"In a Christian home," the author points out, "the parents may be very excited about Christ and the Bible and church and service -- but for the kids, because it's all they've ever known, it's just kind of like part of the wallpaper that forms the backdrop of their life experience -- there's nothing unique about it. And so they can easily grow dull and closed to the things of the Spirit."
In order to address this issue, Kimmel advises parents to avoid isolating their children. Certainly, he says parents should protect their kids from the world, but only up to a certain point, because children -- just like adults -- need challenges to develop spiritual strength.
Another reason kids in Christian homes sometimes rebel, the family and parenting expert notes, is because they are trying to establish an identity separate from their parents. He says many times children "look at their faith as something more compulsory than anything else. It's like their family tradition, and it may not be that way to us, and therefore we can't see it in them; but for them it's just kind of part of a routine. We just do this because it's a mom-and-dad thing."
And when the children are small, going along with the family routine may not be a problem for them. "As long as they're on our side, that's great," Kimmel says, "but when kids become teenagers, often they step away from our faith and want to question it."
Many mothers and fathers have worked hard at Christian parenting, only to have their son or daughter step away from their belief system to embrace non-biblical ideas and non-Christian lifestyle choices. But Dr. Kimmel feels there are many things parents can do to help their children develop a healthy faith-life early on and stick with it into adulthood.
Why Christian Kids Rebel teaches parents principles to help them steer their children toward a healthy relationship with God all their own. At the same time, Kimmel offers advice and hope for parents already dealing with a rebellious teen, offering guidelines to help a parent lead his or her child back onto the path of a vibrant faith.
