Virginia Tech Tragedy -- Processing Our Pain
by Staff
April 23, 2007
(christiansunite.com) - Minister and author Paul Davis teaches us as a nation how to process our pain, be reconciled, and recover from the Virginia Tech tragedy. These 12 powerful tips will help us take the edge off and transcend the overwhelming emotional turbulence.Transcend tragedy and help others on the fringe of uncertainty transition to be transformed. Breakthrough for a broken heart is here.
"Touching and transcending the Virginia Tech tragedy is crucial for the soul of America, a nation plagued by terrorism inside and out," said Paul Davis prophetically.
"Life's challenges and unexpected events awaken within us endless emotions, which at times can be very overwhelming and difficult to manage."
Worldwide minister and author of Breakthrough for a Broken Heart, Paul Davis personally knows how to process pain. Paul worked at Ground Zero in NYC the first week of 9/11, helped the homeless at the tsunami epicenter and comforted victims of genocide in Rwanda.
"Resorting to violence is a way people get the attention their heart yearns for. Violence however never produces the outcome the outraged individual ultimately desires. What Cho Seung-Hui really wanted deep down inside was respect, recognition, and the right to be heard. This cannot be angrily demanded, but must be delicately and graciously pursued within the context of peaceable relations." - Paul F. Davis
"Since many perpetrators of violence, men in particular, are unable to process their pain, validate their feelings, and articulate their emotions, they bury it down deep and try to deny it. This is called implosion, which if it persists over an extended period of time will eventually result in an outward explosion."
"Denial does not diminish what is doing you in. Whatever is run from will only perpetually follow you."
"People need to awaken to the inner issues and personal unfinished business from which we are running."
"Victims of unprovoked violence must guard their hearts against becoming critical, accusatory and fearful. Often those who deserve our love the least, need it the most."
Here are 12 powerful tips to transcend tragedy and help others on the fringe of uncertainty transition to be transformed.
1. Refuse to be gripped and governed by fear.
While Virginia Tech should heighten and increase security measures for the safety of their students, they should not put their campus on lock down. University President Charles Steger and local police are correct in upholding the personal freedoms of the students.
2. Believe the best about people, until they prove otherwise.
There is good in all of us that needs to be affirmed and recognized. Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. Before entertaining and listening to the bad about a person, ask to hear about the good.
3. Forgive and live.
Forgiveness frees us from carrying the heavy burden of hostility and hate within our hearts. Forgive and live, allowing others to do the same.
4. Love and accept people unconditionally.
Create a culture of love and acceptance by being agreeable in the midst of disagreement. Give people hope to belong, believe, and become. People change in an environment of unconditional love and acceptance.
5. Be hopeful and expect the best from people.
Show a positive expectation toward people, allowing the force of faith to pull them up higher.
6. Be patient, peaceful, and progressive.
Change doesn't happen overnight. It is progressive and ongoing. Strive to be patient and maintain peaceful relations with people as they evolve.
7. Don't be paralyzed by presumption and erroneous predispositions.
Beware of prematurely stereotyping and judging people.
8. Let dialog and diplomacy replace hostility.
National dictators just want to be recognized. Peacemaker and negotiator Paul Davis said: "By welcoming everyone to the table to talk, we can diffuse much hostility and build bridges. Nobody ever died during a discussion. Dialog and diplomacy enable us to go deeper to the real root issues motivating a person before things escalate and get out of hand."
9. Investigate and seek the truth.
You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free. Not everything heard is worth listening to. Truth must be tested and examined over time. Lies last but for a moment. The truth however is timeless and always endures.
10. Let go of what is not clearly understood.
Don't always expect understanding and closure. Don't be crippled by curiosity and unanswered questions.
11. Celebrate and honor all people.
Live and let live. Don't shun or alienate people, but instead kindly welcome them into your world. Overcome evil with good letting the bonds of brotherhood grow.
12. Live every day joyfully to the fullest.
Make the most of every moment realizing that nobody knows when they shall expire. Today is the day for everyone to live their dreams.
Paul deeply desires to comfort and give hope to the hurting in these perilous times. His passionate message of love, forgiveness and reconciliation lifts and liberates people.