Palin's Church in Alaska Believes that Jesus Christ Is God, Created the World and - GASP -- Helps Gay Sinners Overcome Homosexuality

by Staff
September 16, 2008

MEDIA ADVISORY, (christiansunite.com) -- The alternative new media and old establishment media alike are swarming around startling revelations concerning Alaska Governor and GOP vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin's church in Alaska.

Huff-And-Puff Post has learned that Wasilla Bible Church, where Palin worships, actually believes the Bible that Christ came to earth as a man, professed to be God Himself and forgave peoples' sins, and performed miracles that only God could do, like raising Lazarus from the dead. Wasilla doctrine teaches that this same Jesus now sits at the right hand of His Heavenly Father and intervenes in the lives of human beings.

"We have discovered that these brainwashed Christianists who cling to their religion and their guns also cling to fairy tales about Jesus as some prayer- answering 'savior,'" said Arianna Huff-and-Puff, publisher of the online Post. "It's one thing to believe that this unseen God-man Jesus helped create the world and performs miracles in the lives of his followers -- like healing drug addicts and transforming the hearts of hardened criminals. But believing that He can help also people leave homosexuality - what are they, nuts?!"

Associated Press reports ominously that Wasilla Bible Church supports programs to help men and women overcome homosexual desires. AP, consistent with its well-earned reputation as Always Politically-correct, chose to use the homosexual pejorative "Pray Away the Gay" to describe Wasilla's ex-"gay" ministry.

AP also quotes New York City-based homosexual gadfly Wayne Besen: "'I think gay Republicans are going to run away' if Palin supports efforts like the prayers to convert gays." Oh well, there go 2,014 homosexual Republican votes for McCain - while millions of pro-family, Sarah-Palin-loving Republicans applaud ministries that offer godly, healthy change to homosexual strugglers.

But Professional Gay Activist Besen is not deterred. Oblivious to the thousands of former homosexuals worldwide who live happy lives shorn of their false "gay" identity, he is now begging his followers for money so he can fly to Anchorage to protest a "Love Won Out" conference promoted by Wasilla Bible Church and sponsored by Focus on the Family. LWO conferences - a favorite target of homosexual militants and anti-"Christianists" everywhere -- feature "born again" former homosexuals sharing their hopeful testimonies.

"Speaking of 'Praying Away the Gay,' perhaps now is the time for concerned Americans to pray that Besen receives only enough funds to purchase a ONE-WAY ticket to Alaska," said Americans For Truth president Peter LaBarbera. "Sure, that's putting a heavy burden on Alaska's citizens, but the lower 48 states and Hawaii then would be free of Besen's tiresome anti-Christian bigotry and preposterous crusade to 'prove' the impossible: that homosexuals (like all other sinners) can't change."

Note to humorless secular media elites and homosexual activists: this release is a spoof, but the parts about AP's biased reporting and Besen's "anti- ex-gay" Alaskan Adventure are true.